Friday, July 04, 2008

I changed the layout a bit.

It's not a great picture of me, but I think it looks pretty good altogether. Blogger is stupid and won't let me center it on the page, but whatever.

And that cat is Elwood, by the way. He's a fat ass.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

You guys remember how Kanye West was late for his performance at Bonnaroo, and everyone got all angry and such?

Well, Kanye has this to say about it. Copied straight from his "blog":



I am sick of negative people who just sit around trying 2 plot my downfall... Why???? I understand if people don't like me because I like me or if people think tight clothes look gay or people say I run my mouth to much, But this Bonnaroo thing is the worst insult I've ever had in my life. This is the most offended I've ever been... this is the maddest I ever will be. I'm typing so fucking hard I might break my fucking Mac book Air!!!!!!!! Call me any name you want.... arrogant, conceited, narcissistic, racist, metro, fag whatever you can think of.... BUT NEVER SAY I DIDN'T GIVE MY ALL! NEVER SAY I DIDN'T GIVE MY ALL! THIS SHOWS NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY TO BE GOOD AT SOMETHING THERE WILL BE PEOPLE THERE TO LIE ABOUT YOU AND BRING YOU DOWN! LIKE WAYNE SAYS PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME DOWN CAUSE I'M FLYING! I'M FUCKING HURT BY THIS ONE. ALL I CARE ABOUT ARE THE FANS. JUST SAY THIS OUT LOUD IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE, "KANYE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT GIVING A GOOD PERFORMANCE." CAN ANYONE HONESTLY SAY THAT ????????? HAS ANYONE EVEN TAKEN THE TIME TO AT LEAST DO THE MATH??? BONNAROO SHOULD HAVE RELEASED A STATEMENT IN MY DEFENSE BUT SINCE THEY HAVEN'T LET'S BREAK DOWN THE WALLS ON THIS TRUMAN SHOW AND LET YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY OCCURRED!!! FOR OVER A MONTH WE WENT BACK AND FORTH ON WETHER OR NOT WE COULD EVEN FIT MY STAGE AT THE FESTIVAL. ONE DAY THEY WOULD SAY YES... WE'D SEND THEM OUR SPECS THEN THEY THEY'D SAY OK... THEN THEY WOULD SEND SPECS BACK THAT DIDN'T FIT THE STAGE. WE WERE OBVIOUSLY DEALING WITH FUCKING IDIOTS WHO DIDN'T REALLY HAVE THE CAPACITY TO REALLY PUT ON THIS SHOW PROPERLY. THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS! MY PEOPLE WORKED OUT A COMPROMISED STAGE PLOT AND A 3AM TIME SLOT AND I AGREED. FAST FOWARD TO THE DAY OF THE SHOW. MY PRODUCTION MANAGER TRIED TO LOAD IN FOR 24 HOURS BEFORE I WENT ON STAGE BUT THE FESTIVAL WOULDN'T ALLOW US TO DO ANYTHING UNTILL PEARL JAM LEFT THE STAGE. PEARL JAM ENDED ONE HOUR
LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AT THAT POINT WE'RE RACING AGAINST THE SUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AT 4:20AM DON COMES BACK 2 THE BUS AND TELLS ME, " IT WOULD TAKE 45 MORE MINUTES TO PUT ALL YOUR PYRO IN!" I SAY I HAVE TO GET OUT THERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE . I HIT THE STAGE AND PEOPLE HAD BEEN THROWING SHIT ON THE STAGE AND HAD ACTUALLY HIT THE JANE SCREEN WITH, I GUESS BOTTLES OR SOMETHING AND HAD BROKEN MY FUCKING SCREEN. REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE A SHORTY AND WATER WOULD HIT THE TV?????? WHEN I GOT 2 "THROUGH THE WIRE" I STEPPED ON THE FRONT PART OF MY STAGE AND THERE WAS SO MUCH LIQUID ON THE STAGE I COULDN'T MOVE WITHOUT SLIPPING. I HAD TO ADJUST MY WHOLE PERFORMANCE STYLE BECAUSE OF IT. A FEW MORE SONGS IN AND THE SONG WAS ON IT'S WAY UP.. I CUT A FEW SONGS FROM THE SET BECAUSE I WANTED PEOPLE 2 EXPERIENCE STRONGER WHILE THERE WAS STILL SOME DARKNESS TO PERFORM IT IN. I'VE STRUGGLED WITH STRONGER FROM IT'S CONCEPTION. REMEMBER LAST SUMMER WHEN I CANCELED SOME TV APPEARANCES. IT WAS BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO PERFORM STRONGER IN THE DAYTIME. ANYONE WHO CAME TO THE GLOW TOUR CAN UNDERSTAND WHY I WANTED PEOPLE TO SEE IT PROPERLY. IT BROKE MY HEART THAT I COULDN'T GIVE THESE FANS STRONGER IN IT'S GREATEST FORM... BY THE TIME I GOT TO STRONGER IT WAS DAYTIME AND IT BROKE MY HEART. I'M SORRY TO EVERYONE THAT I DIDN'T HAVE THE ABILITY 2 GIVE THE PERFORMANCE I WANTED TO. I'M SORRY... SOMETIMES I GO 2, 3 DAYS W/O SLEEP WORKING ON MY PERFORMANCE... I HAVE TO ICE MY KNEES AFTER EVERY SHOW AND THEY HURT WHEN I WALK THROUGH THE AIRPORT... HAVING AN EXPENSIVE STAGE CUTS MY PAYDAY IN HALF... CALL ME WHAT YOU WANT BUT NEVER SAY I DIDN'T GIVE MY ALL!!!


Now that's some eloquent stuff right there. Shove it up yours, squid brains.

Friday, June 27, 2008


Monday was Joss Whedon's birthday, and today is JJ Abrams's birthday! Happy birthday, JJ!

Now, I know this sounds totally cheesy and weird, but this man has changed my life. In 2004, the television show Lost premiered and I was forever changed. Now, I know he's not the only dude responsible for Lost (Carlton Cuse, Damon Lindelof, etc) but he is one of the head honchos.

As a dedicated JJ fan, I went to see Cloverfield. And yeah, I got a little sick. But I did it. And I'll be watching Fringe when it premieres, too. Because I'm a geek, damn it, and that's what we do.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

So I was poking around on IMDB and I saw that Dane Cook is starring in a new movie entitled, "My Best Friend's Girl".

Here is the plot:

Tank faces the ultimate test of friendship when his best friend hires him to take his ex-girlfriend out on a lousy date in order to make her realize how great her former boyfriend is.

I'm going to now tell you the entire plot of the movie. Keep in mind, I have not yet seen the trailer.

Tank is a good dude that works at a local office. He has a fairly nice life. He hangs out with his best friend a lot, who recently was dumped. (Oh no!) Now, his best friend is just so bummed that he wants Tank to talk to his ex-girlfriend and make her change her mind. Tank doesn't want to do it, but after enough begging from his BFF he says yes. So Tank takes her out to dinner, and WOW, she is smoking hot! But Tank has to FOCUS. He's there for his friend, not for himself, right? But oh gosh, you guys. She is just so funny! And so smart! Tank goes home that night feeling bad, because he shouldn't be liking his BEST FRIEND'S GIRL. (Title capture!) But he also feels great, because this girl just stirred up something in him that makes him feel like he's walking on sunshine. [insert Katrina and the Wave smash hit at this point of the movie.] When his BFF asks him how it went, he hesitates, then says "It went great!"

[insert hour of "witty banter" from the sub-cast, such as Tank's landlord, Tank's friend's boss, and Tank's friend's ex-girlfriend's friend saying stuff like "Girlfriend, you should not be going after your ex's friend! That's just wrong!" and she responding with "I never said I was going out with him! I just said that he was funny!" Her friend replies "I sense something funny going on here..." *eyebrow raise*]

WEDDING TIME. Somehow, Tank convinced his bro's ex-girlfriend to go out with his bro again. And they totes fell in love. And now they're getting married! As Tank stands in front of the altar, behind his BFF, he stares at his BEST FRIEND'S GIRL (ding ding ding!) during the entire ceremony. She stares back, knowing somewhere in the back of her mind "I SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS I REALLY LOVE TANK OMG." When the priest asks if anyone objects, Tank frowns but does not object. Instead, his BEST FRIEND'S GIRL does! Ooh! Clever plot twist! "I'm sorry, but I can't!" she says, and runs down the aisle, dragging her white dress behind her.

When Tank's BFF discovers that Tank and his girl had a "thing" going on, he flips! He disowns Tank from his life and gives him the cold shoulder.

5 minutes later in the film, Tank is back together happily with his BFF's ex, and his BFF actually got together with Tank's sister! What?! I know, crazy, right? No one ever expects that.

Tank and the girl live together happily ever after.

THE FRAKKING END.

Now, I challenge whoever sees the movie to give me a play-by-play and tell me what actually happens. I may have some points off, but I bet I got at least 90% of that thing down.

Music Post!


Melody Gardot

You guys. Pay attention to this. You need to listen to Melody Gardot. She was the free single of the week on iTunes a few months ago and I was immediately hooked.

I don't know; it's weird. The older I get, the more I like jazz music. It doesn't bother me, really, it's just something I've noticed lately. Does this mean I'm growing up? Naaahh.

Anyways, she's got a great, smooth jazz voice. And I don't mean that fake jazz shit that people like Christina Aguilera try to attempt and then all the magazines are like "Christina Aguilera's new hip jazz sound! Going back to her roots!" Which is bullshit, because as we all know, her roots are "Genie in a Bottle". And "DirrrrrrrrrrrrrrRrrRRRrrty". (Number of R's merely guessed.) But WHATEVER. I'm beginning to take this hypothetical situation way too seriously. Video time.




Keane

Yeah, I know Keane is nothing new to anyone, but gosh, I love these guys. They've never really gotten ginormously famous and I'm not sure why. They're compared to Coldplay a lot, and I see the similarities, but it's still different. The lead singer's voice is so comforting.

I just felt the need to express my love for them after hearing "Bedshaped" on Pandora internet radio. So lovely. (p.s.- this music video is mad sweet.)




Coldplay

Dear Coldplay,

I still like you. I just wanted you to know that.

I know lately you've been getting some flack for your new album, Viva la Vida or Death and all his Friends, and I'm not sure why. I have not heard the whole album, but what I have heard is a work of art. Viva la Vida gives me goosebumps. The lyrics are haunting and the chorus is beautifully catchy. Violet Hill is another catchy tune, but not in an annoying way. Lost! is very soulful and chill.

People keep saying it's pretentious. "The title is pretentious!" Viva la Vida? I think it's cool. "Using a Delacroix painting for the album cover is pretentious!" Again, I see nothing pretentious about that. I think using a famous painting such as Liberty Leading the People on the CD is awesome. Have you ever noticed how people who say stuff is pretentious are the pretentious ones for real?

And all those people are the ones who thought your last album, X&Y, was bad too. Don't worry, Coldplay. It wasn't. Fix You nearly brings me to tears when I hear it, and Speed of Sound is epic.

They all keep saying that your new stuff isn't like your first album, Parachutes. All I have to say to them is DUH. No artist's first attempt is anything like their latest. Why would you want to hear the same stuff over and over again? That would be boring. Some artists pull it off, like Jack Johnson (although his new album is a huge disappointment for me. But that's another story for another time.). And you know what I think, Coldplay? I think your new stuff is way better. Yeah, I mean, Yellow is a good nostalgic "Hey, remember 1998?" song, but it's not your best. And the video for it is one of the worst I've ever seen.

But I'm not here to tear you down, Coldplay. I'm here to remind you that you are awesome. And I wouldn't have you any other way.

Love, Mary.


Monday, June 23, 2008


Happy birthday to Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, and in 2009, his new show Dollhouse.

Truly loved by geeks worldwide, he is a mastermind. Firefly met its death much too soon, but we shall never forget. We love you, Joss. And we thank you.

Thursday, June 19, 2008


"Monogamy in the City"


*click pics to see them larger

"Volume"


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Sunday, May 11, 2008

Did anyone catch last week's episode of Bones?

They had no evidence against Bones's dad, so they couldn't charge him. But Bones's dad did kill the guy. He did.

You can eliminate any evidence of something occurring, but that incident still occurred. It may even happen again.

Thursday, April 17, 2008


"Atonement"

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I'm here posting from school, just to make a quick note.

People my age need to just shut the hell up about politics. You cannot vote for president. Nobody gives a damn if you like Obama or Clinton or McCain. And don't say you "support" them, either, because you can't. You ARE NOT ELIGIBLE TO VOTE.

Thank you, and Namaste.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008



"Little Joy in Life #349: Commercials for Jesus CDs"




"Cramp"

*click pic to see larger

Saturday, March 15, 2008



"Beat It"



*click pics to see them larger

"From death...









...comes life."




*click pics to see them larger

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I have not made a post in forever, and I think that's mainly because I lead a boring life full of nothing.

So I've decided to start posting my drawings here.

Now, when I say "drawings", I don't mean really skillful portraits or anything. I mean doodlings. Cartoons. I doodle a whole lot in my free time. I do it to entertain mostly myself, but lately I've been drawing things and leaving them around the school campus for some random person to find. (Most likely the janitor, who sweeps it up in the garbage.)

This week we have statewide standardized testing at my school. I have to sit in one room, without talking, for three hours. Naturally my mind is going to go to some weird places and some strange things will find their way onto the test booklet.

My method of drawing is stick figures, but a little different. I'll show you:


This is a standard drawing of myself. I either have the ponytail going on, or the bird's nest hair. Usually the only difference between my male and female characters is their hair, and sometimes the girls with have high heels or lipstick on.

My newest drawings:


(Mrs. Purvis is my English teacher. She is, in fact, the devil.)

Meet my newest dude, Blender:



Blender is a result of the three-hour testing session. I get particularly proud of a cartoon I've made if it makes me laugh out loud. Why does Blender make me giggle so much? I have no idea. I think part of it may be his little tagline: "Gimme some fruit! Imma make a smoofie!" (You have to be enthusiastic and imagine these things in your head.)