Saturday, June 16, 2007

Mmkay, so, why am I not attracted to Adam Levine?

The lead singer of Maroon 5 (a band that I'm not really a fan of. They had some good songs on their first album, but their new single is kind of weird) is cute. He is. I can look at him and see this. But at the same time, I look at him, and I just go "Ewww..." to myself. Does anyone else get the feeling that he is a giant skeeze? Like, after a show, he hooks up with two groupies in an airport bathroom, and right after zipping up his pants, says something like "Gotta show in San Diego tomorrow. Peace, gals, thanks for the jump start." I can just picture the rest of the band waiting in the airport lobby, one of them going "Where the hell's Adam?" And the other saying "Ugh, is he with the two whores we saw in the front row?" The drummer would just sigh, because drummers are like that, and he gets tired of having to deal with Adam's antics all the time. The other band mates were really hesitant to make a new album, but Adam wouldn't stop whining about it, so they agreed just to shut him up. They were originally going to film the video for "Makes Me Wonder" in New York City, but Adam thought they should film it at the airport, as a little thank-you message to all his bitches and hos. Once again, the drummer sat and sighed, questioning the meaning of life- or more, just questioning himself, Why am I friends with this asshole? After the release of their new single, the other band mates had all agreed to quit. They were going to start their own band, Aubergine 4, with the drummer as the lead singer, because drummers are cool and do unexpected things like that. Aubergine 4's plans with cancelled once they found out that on the tour, they'd be opening up for The Police. Damn you, Police, they all thought. Why must you be brilliant living legends? Aubergine 4 still plans to desert Adam after the summer tour.

But in the mean time, Adam is still a skeeze.

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