Sunday, December 31, 2006


The hype of a New Year begins. Christmas decorations are thrown out and resolutions are made.
I really don't like resolutions. When I want to change, I'll change. If people don't like me the way I am, well tough beans. I enjoy giving people "the lecture" when they ask me if I've made resolutions. Starting with, "What exactly are you implying? You think I need to change? Well if that's what you think then you can get out of my face, because I couldn't care less what you think about anything!" I'm really only saying it to see people's reactions; it's quite fun.


I do, however, have a Fresh Twelve-Month Decree. (I'm trying to avoid the New Year's Resolution label.) I should probably try to find a job. That's bound to be hard for someone like me. I am an anthrocontemniac, meaning I hate basically everyone. So it is truly impossible for me to find a job where I can stay absolutely away from everyone. Also, I don't want to work in a restaurant. So it looks like the way this is going, I'll just have to bite the bullet and look for somewhere, anywhere.


(Except a place with children. I absolutely cannot work with children. I will end up getting extremely pissed and driving a knife through a child's neck.) I bet you just feel so comforted now by the fact that tonight, on New Year's Eve, I am babysitting my 3-year-old and 5-year-old cousins!


Have a great New Year's Eve/Day, people! Remember to eat black-eyed peas on New Year's Day for good luck throughout the year! (I actually don't believe in luck. I am quite a misanthropical person and believe that things don't just happen, they happen for a reason.)

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Have you ever played the card game Uno? If you
haven't, I highly recommend you go out and play it right now. It is awesome. I usually play at school, after lunch, and in free time during classes. It is quite fun. People you barely know ask if they can play. (I usually end up telling them no. Because there is always a slight chance that they are a major douche bag and they will run away with the cards. Hey, it could happen.)

Be warned, though. Uno gets intense. Especially if you begin to gamble items. I rarely bet money. I just really don't have any money to bet. I do, however, have a conglomeration of useless things to bet. I have put plenty of things on the line before- some coconut body spray, my library card, a picture of Stephen Colbert that I tore out of a magazine, and more. Never bet anything that you absolutely cannot afford to lose. Unless you suddenly get a crazy asinine stroke of randomness that wills you to.

My friends and I play what we call the "Floridian Version". You see, in normal Uno rules, if you don't have the card you need to put down, you draw form the pile once, and if that card still won't work, your turn is skipped. But in Floridian Uno, you continue to draw from the pile until you can play. It is more difficult and fun this way.

Haven't I totally convinced you to go out and play? Go on. Get off the computer and go play some good old American Uno.